10 Things No One Tells Us to Expect After Pregnancy

13^th Jan 2023

7 mins read

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When you’re pregnant, it’s all about the due date, that one big amazing lifechanging day where you finally get to meet your long-awaited little baby and finally hold them. You’ll certainly be hearing so much about what the little human needs, what they will do, milestones and so much more for when they’re finally here. Obviously, that’s great, but let’s not forget about you!

Your postpartum journey can be just as surprising and unexpected as your pregnancy journey, with new feelings and experiences every single day. Each pregnancy is different, so be prepared to learn and expect the unexpected. Going with the flow is key!

10 Things No One Tells You About Life Postpartum

1. Breastfeeding cramps
More cramps?! We’ve all heard the benefits of breastfeeding, the protection it provides for mama and baby, optimal growth, possible weight loss and all the other benefits. But here’s what you probably didn’t know – nursing cramps? These cramps happen because, as you breastfeed, your body is releasing a hormone to shrink the uterus back to its natural size. It can be painful and the pain can sometimes become worse with each baby you have. This isn’t a big cause for worry because luckily you do not need to suffer in silence, ask your doctor for some pain relief medication if needed and it will pass sooner than you think. 

But what if you don’t choose to breastfeed, or physically can’t? Don’t fret! Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. And there are many reasons that you may not be breastfeeding your baby. 

• Your baby has a poor latch
• Your baby may have tongue tie
• You don’t have enough milk supply
• It is too painful for you (everyone’s pain tolerance is different)
• It’s just not for you

AND THAT’S COMPLETELY OK! In this case, consider getting in touch with a breastfeeding consultant. They can assist you in getting the knack of it, or help you decide if switching to formula is the right choice for you and baby. 

MPY Tip: Your body, your baby, YOUR CHOICE. Breast is good, but a full, fed and happy baby is the BEST. So mama, you do you.

2. Your baby ain’t going to be the only one in diapers!
No one tells you that the bundle of joy that you’ve just delivered is going to be the only one leaving the hospital in diapers. Alongside those first dark-tar like poops that your baby will do, you’ll be dealing with your own fluid issues. No matter if you went natural or c-section, in the postpartum period, it is likely that you’ll experience some form of bleeding known as lochia. It usually lasts between four to six weeks after giving birth.

It looks and feels like a heavy period. For some of us, the bleeding is heavier and for others lighter, and you may experience clotting, it ain’t pretty, but totally normal. However, if you experience a strange smell or color, get in touch with your doctor ASAP. 

MPY Tip: Adult diapers are comfier than marketed ‘postpartum pads’ and hospital underwear. Sure it isn’t the most fab or glam thing, or they might not fit into your favourite jeans, but your bum will thank you.

3. You may still look pregnant
Please don’t compare your postpartum body to those of celebrities on those glossy magazine pages. You may be misled to think that you’ll walk out of the hospital a few hours after giving birth looking like nothing happened. And while for some this MAY be the case (good on you!) for the majority of us, the first venture into the real world is more likely to look like you pulling back on those pregnancy clothes, sliding on an adult diaper, and taking those first vulnerable steps into real life. Do not worry, things will be okay. Once you have a baby, that baby belly doesn’t immediately go away. This can vary from having a small flab to a full pregnancy belly. This is normal as well as everything in between. When preparing your hospital bag, plan ahead and choose slightly bigger sizes than what you’re used to. Forget about tight styles, go for comfort. No matter what birth you’ve experienced, you’re going to feel tender and vulnerable, do yourself a favour and choose comfort. You’ll feel better for it. 

MPY Tip: Take photos, don’t worry about your makeup and hair, forget about the extra flab. One day in the future these memories will be priceless and you’ll want to show them to your little one. 

4. Your hair MAY fall out
Did you have luscious locks when pregnant? This may have been a result of the high hormone levels in your body, meaning you lost a lot less hair than you usually world. After baby is born and hormone levels drop, it is time to mentally prepare for the hair-loss phase. It can happen anytime, but usually it comes around the three-month postpartum mark. Eventually it will normalize. Getting enough sleep and taking lots of vitamins and minerals can help you in the process of normalizing. 

MPY Tip: Take it easy. There isn’t much you can do if your hair starts falling out. You will get it back so chill and rock that new do! 

5. Mom brain is REAL
What did you say?... You will start forgetting things, except for the baby of course! Postpartum is HARD, you may be unable to concentrate on work tasks, sometimes walk into a room and forget why you went there in the first place, walk out of the house with your top the wrong way round. This is a genuine condition that can sometimes leave you feeling as if you’ve lost your mind. There is  plus side to all this – research shoes that your brain fundamentally changes after giving birth. These changes allow women to be more responsive to their baby’s needs, such as reacting to different cries and making you a better mama. These changes can last for a few years, but during that time you’ll learn how to multi-task and manage your time better. 

MPY Tip: Keep an extra set of the essential items in your baby bag, including wipes, clothes for baby, diapers, keys and snacks. You’re likely to remember to grab this bag when you leave, so it’s unlikely you’ll forget all the key items. 

6. Your sex life won’t go back to normal IMMEDIATELY
The general rule of thumb is to wait for six weeks. You may be feeling it, or not. Feeling confused, likely sore, worried, this is all normal. 
The desire varies from woman to woman, some feel ready by the six week mark, some don’t. Always check with your doctor who will be able to give you the green light (or not). Some don’t feel ready for months after having a baby, and that’s also ok. If it’s been a long while and you’re feeling concerned, book in with your doctor. Sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship so if something feels wrong, ask a specialist for help. You could be experiencing hormone imbalances or other issues, so don’t panic. Always ask for help when you need it. 

MPY Tip: Always communicate openly with your partner, tell them how you’re feeling. Also, the postpartum period can mean that you’re extra fertile so it is essential to use protection if you don’t want to have a baby again that quickly.

7. You will survive on lack of sleep
Do you remember when everyone was telling you to “sleep now, because when baby is here…blab la” yeah, well that time is now! And they were being serious. Your new sleep schedule is a bit different to what it was before, especially at the beginning when baby is feeding frequently. You’ll find yourself waking up more often, every 2-4 hours and you will be exhausted. All you can do is get rest where you can and soldier through. Soon, your baby’s sleep schedule will change and they will start sleeping for longer. If you’re lucky, they may sleep through the night, but if they don’t right away, don’t panic. Every child is different. There are methods and great sleep coaches that can help you through this here, but this is a personal decision for every parent to make. 
What’s for sure is that you will get through it, sleep-deprived and all. 

MPY Tip: Passing up that extra day time nap for some “me-time” is not selfish, and to be honest you do need that tiny bit of adult time – reading a book, talking to someone who talks back or even having a bath! 

8. Postpartum anger is REAL
Laundry isn’t done, dishes haven’t been cleared, again. Your husband is fast asleep, again. You’re not usually the type to care, but today you feel like you’re about to boil over, you’re at breaking point, aaah! This is postpartum anger, and it is a real thing. Postpartum rage is one of the many mood disorders that can occur after pregnancy, when your hormones are fluctuating and the sleep-deprivation tiredness is kicking in. You may find that you:

• Scream, swear (a lot)
• Lose your temper quickly
• Physically express your emotions
• Have violent thoughts
• Focusing on the negatives
• Feel very emotional in general

Postpartum anger is a recognized condition, if this sounds like you and is having an impact on your relationship with your new baby and life, you need to seek help asap. 

MPY Tip: Share the load. Being a new mother is HARD WORK. Accept help when it is offered and ask for it if it’s not. You’re amazing but not invincible, and you need downtime too. 

9. You’re always feeling fearful/worried
Going onto Google and typing “is it normal when my baby…” has become an everyday ritual.  This fear can range from wondering if it’s normal that they aren’t sitting by 6 months – it is! – to really deep philosophical worries, such as, “what will the world be like in 20 years from now?” and everything else in between. 

Whilst some queries are easily solved by the internet, others will require you to exercise calm and mindfulness. It is impossible to predict every scenario out there, you’re not a miracle-maker. You can do your best to guide them as they grow up. 

MPY Tip: Breathe. If it gets too much, relax your body and mind and proceed with a clear mind. 

10. You’re going to experience a love like no other
If you’d ask a mother what motherhood is like, you’ll often get an answer that is similar to “having a tiny piece of your heart outside your body” or “a love like no other”. When you look at your little one’s face and see them laugh or smile, when they do something for the very first time your heart is going to melt. Suddenly all those sleepless nights, smelly diapers, meltdowns and everything else will not matter. Those tough moments will all disappear and you will live for these moments. 

MPY Tip: If this isn’t your first baby, you may be worried if you could ever love anyone as much as your first, don’t worry – you will.