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Motherhood Tips

Finding Your Parenting Style: How to Trust Your Instincts and Make Confident Choices as a New Mom

24th May 2023

4 mins read


Hey there, mama! If you're reading this, chances are you've been thrown into the wild and wonderful world of motherhood, and suddenly you're faced with a million decisions to make for your little one. From feeding and sleep training to discipline and education, it seems like everyone has an opinion on the "right" way to parent. But here's the honest truth – there's no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids. You are the expert when it comes to your child, and your parenting style will be as unique as you are. So let's get real and talk about how to trust your instincts and make confident choices as a new mom.

Tune Out the Noise

First things first – it's time to tune out the noise. Between well-meaning friends, family, and the endless stream of parenting advice online, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and confused. While it's great to hear different perspectives and learn from others' experiences, remember that you know your child best. Trust your instincts, listen to your gut, and don't be afraid to make decisions that feel right for you and your family, even if they go against the grain.

Set Boundaries with Unsolicited Advice

We've all been there – someone offers up a piece of parenting advice that we didn't ask for, and suddenly we're questioning our choices. It's important to set boundaries with well-meaning friends and family members who may not realize that their unsolicited advice can be more harmful than helpful. Politely let them know that you appreciate their input, but that you're doing your best to discover your own parenting style.

Educate Yourself (But Don't Go Overboard)

Knowledge is power, but too much information can be paralyzing. It's essential to educate yourself about different parenting philosophies and techniques, but don't let yourself get bogged down in the details. Keep an open mind, absorb what resonates with you, and discard what doesn't. And remember – just because a certain approach worked for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you. Be willing to adapt and change as you discover what suits your family best.

Explore Various Parenting Styles

There are several well-known parenting styles out there, such as authoritative, permissive, and attachment parenting. Take the time to learn about these different approaches, and consider how they align with your values and beliefs. Remember that there's no one "right" way to parent, and finding your style is about striking a balance between what feels natural to you and what's best for your child.

Embrace Trial and Error

As a new mom, you're learning on the job, and that means there will be plenty of trial and error along the way. It's okay to make mistakes – in fact, it's inevitable! The key is to learn from those experiences and use them to grow and improve as a parent. Be patient with yourself and your child, and remember that you're both navigating this journey together.

Keep a Parenting Journal

One way to keep track of what's working and what's not is to keep a parenting journal. Jot down the strategies you've tried, the outcomes, and any insights you've gained along the way. This can be a helpful tool for reflecting on your progress, identifying patterns, and celebrating your growth as a mom.

Find Your Tribe

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and that's especially true when it comes to finding your parenting style. Look for a community of other moms who share your values and can offer support, advice, and encouragement. These connections can be invaluable as you navigate the ups and downs of motherhood, and they'll remind you that you're not alone in this wild ride.

Connect with Local and Online Parenting Groups

There are countless parenting groups and forums available, both in your local community and online. Explore various options, such as Facebook groups, local meetups, or even moms' groups at your local library or community center. Find a group that aligns with your beliefs and values, and don't be afraid to reach out and make connections with other moms who are navigating the same journey.

Celebrate Your Wins

Last but certainly not least, take the time to celebrate your wins. It's all too easy to focus on the things you feel you're doing wrong or the areas where you think you're falling short. Instead, make a conscious effort to acknowledge and celebrate the moments where you feel like you've nailed it. Did your baby finally sleep through the night? Did you manage to soothe a tantrum with patience and empathy? These are victories worth celebrating, and they'll help build your confidence as a mom.

Share Your Successes with Your Support System

Don't keep your wins to yourself – share them with your partner, friends, or fellow moms in your support network. By celebrating your successes together, you'll reinforce the positiveaspects of your parenting journey and remind yourself that you're doing a great job.

Practice Self-Compassion and Patience

As a new mom, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and doubt. But remember that you're doing the best you can, and it's essential to practice self-compassion and patience. Remind yourself that every parent makes mistakes, and that's how we learn and grow. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the grace to learn and adjust as you find your parenting style.

Make Time for Self-Care

In the midst of caring for a new baby, it's crucial to remember that you need care too. Prioritize self-care activities that help you recharge and maintain your well-being, whether that's taking a walk, enjoying a bath, or catching up with a friend. A happy, healthy mom is better equipped to confidently navigate the challenges of parenting.

Stay Flexible and Open-Minded

Your parenting style may evolve as your child grows and their needs change. Stay open to new ideas and be willing to adjust your approach as needed. Remember that the ultimate goal is to raise a happy, healthy, and well-adjusted child – and there are many paths to achieving that outcome.

Learn from Other Parents' Experiences

While it's important to forge your own path, there's still much to learn from the experiences of other parents. Listen to their stories, ask questions, and be open to learning from their successes and challenges. Just remember to always filter their insights through your own instincts and values.

So there you have it – a raw and honest guide to finding your parenting style and trusting your instincts as a new mom. Remember, there's no perfect way to parent, and the most important thing is to love and support your child as you figure it all out together. You've got this, mama!

Written by

Modern Pui Yuet

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